ANCHORAGE, AK – So apparently Alaska belongs to Russia again
Sources say some US guy who we won’t name because he’s probably super embarrassed lost Alaska in a late-night poker game with Russian officials. It was supposed to be a joke but Russia was like “Nah, we’ll take it,” and next thing you know a bunch of dudes on snowmobiles and moose rolled in waving Russian flags.
Most Alaskan people don’t really care “Still cold, still dark, still got bears” said local fisherman Dale McKenzie. “Guess we’ll just drink vodka instead of beer now.”
The US government is trying to figure out how to fix this Russia said they might give Alaska back for some McDonald’s and $100, but the deal is still up in the air. Stay tuned.
PS. this is all satire!
